Day {Nineteen}

Day 19 A photo of your favorite place to eat

The kitchen: before, a photo by Stephanie.Sekscinski on Flickr.

Now, I'm not boasting because when it comes to cooking, I'm really not that great. I can make a pretty good pie and am learning something new with each sweet treat I attempt, but I can't do much on the stove. Each time I've tried to make gravy has resulted in an epic fail. Epic.
But I love to try something new and even if it tastes horrible, I'll stomach at least a taste before I pull out a can of spaghettios which we always have in stock. It's a work in progress!

Day {Eleven}

{Day 11 A bad habit}




Thank goodness this is day 11. I have had 11 days (plus 2 weekends and a major holiday) to think about this question. And not because I don’t have any bad habits, but because I was having a difficult time picking just one bad habit that was also not so bad that I could still share with the great unknown.


I am a huge quitter. The very first time it dawned on me was actually when my father told me in the heat of a very intense argument we were having. It was mean and spoken out of anger but after much contemplation over the words, I do realize that this is a very big personal flaw of mine.


I went to college for 5 years. I couldn’t decide on a major and finally experienced some major burnout (combined with some enormous debt) so I quit.


Aside from my current position, I’ve never held a job more than 2 years. I get bored and move on. The only reason I’ve had this job for 4 years is because for the first 2 years I did one job role and then got a promotion into another role for the next 2 years. I just passed my second anniversary in this role and I am beginning to feel the burnout.


I begin Bible studies and quit around page 32. I start blogs and then don’t post anything for months. I create budgets and then ignore them by the second pay period. I start habits that would make excellent traditions but that don’t make it past the first year.


Reading back over what I’ve written, I feel the need to justify myself to myself. Just because I am a huge quitter doesn’t mean that while I’m at work I don’t give 126%. Just because I went to school for 5 years doesn’t mean that I am dumb – I did very well in school and continue to love to learn. Everything I have started has begun with the very best of intentions. I really mean to improve my life or the lives of those around me with my efforts. I just have a difficult time following through.


Ever since the night my dad said that to me, I have made it my mission to prove him wrong. At the beginning of the year I declared my word for the year to be {quality}. I have meditated over this word each time I begin to quit something or I feel the burnout begin. And I can see changes taking place. I have observed myself following through on things that I seriously considered quitting. A lot of the problem, I have realized, is my attitude. My burn out can easily be curbed by finding something to liven up the current situation. Work got incredibly overwhelming for a while, and then immediately got slow. I am finding tasks to do to improve work flow for not just myself, but my teammates as well (when I apply myself, I really am a smart cookie).


We put the Christmas tree up last night and it was very rushed because I usually do it on the weekend or when I have the entire day off. I only had a couple of hours so I had to work quite a bit faster. But going through our boxes I found several things that we have worked on making tradition over the last couple of years and I truly hope that we can continue to do them over the next several years.


This isn’t really a tradition, it just happens to be something that we’ve done each year. Our parents were wonderful about giving us and keeping meaningful ornaments throughout the years (Sean just has to look a little harder for his, there’s no telling where they’ve been stored!). For the last couple of years we’ve “borrowed” an ornament from our childhood to add to our tree. Sean has brought his set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ornaments from when he was a kid and a little Rudolph ornament had his brother’s name inscribed in it from 1985 (why doesn’t anyone do those tin type ornaments anymore?). I have several ornaments noting the first 5 years of my life so in about 18 more years I should have them all on my tree.


This tradition isn’t very original. When we put up our first Christmas tree we bought an ornament to commemorate our very first home. Last year we bought a silver bell and had it inscribed “Just Married” with the year. This year, we are very excited to receive in the mail (today) our 2011 ornament:

Finally, this is my very favorite tradition. I’ve sent Christmas cards out for each year we’ve been in the house. I’ve kept one of the Christmas cards and put our usual greeting that we’ve sent to everyone else (it’s usually the “oops” card that I’ve misspelled a word or have the very worst handwriting). On the back I write the year and put down 5 things that we have accomplished or the things we did for Christmas. The first year I was so excited to write that we bought a house! We also went to see Sherlock Holmes that Christmas night. The second year, we got married! We also put all of our money into improving the house and stayed home on Christmas night because Sean had to work. This year, Sean got into and began Radiology School! We were able to eliminate all car payments and will be having Christmas dinner at our house on Christmas Eve.

A Tale of Two Families

Aside from the few nights I had obligations at school, I could probably count on one hand the number of times my family didn't eat together at the dining room table growing up. Nope, go ahead and include those nights I had obligations at school; somehow, we always found a way to come together over a hot meal (or cold, depending on how late Dad decided to work in the barn). Furthermore, all of my friends' families ate around a central table and discussed the events of their day. I never even considered that there were other families out there that didn't eat together.

Sean and I have been discussing our next project. He really wants to get new carpet and lay down new linoleum. I am totally on board with this idea because the current flooring is g.r.o.s.s. It's beyond disgusting. With all of the improvements we've made in our home, it's hard to be proud and show off what we've done when I shudder at the thought of people walking in and seeing/smelling our carpet. However, I don't want to make a change if there is a chance that we are going to ruin it with another improvement down the line. To me, that is a total waste of money.

Our home has two sides: the original house and then an add-on which includes the master bedroom and bathroom, utility room, and smaller living room. The original house consists of three bedrooms, a bathroom, a larger living room and the kitchen. The floor plan makes sense until you consider the add-on. The add-on feels like an afterthought with only one little doorway connecting the two sides. And no dining room. I would like to open up the doorway that connects the two sides in order to help the flow of the house and allow for a little more space to put a dining room table.

This is the dilemma: my husband doesn't understand the importance of a place for this piece of furniture. He actually told me he thought I was making too big of a deal about it, that he doesn't know anyone that eats around a table.

!!!!

I responded that I found that ironic because I don't know anyone that doesn't eat around a table! Then it dawned on me: we are so caught up in how our families operated that we never took into consideration how the other family did things. I'm sure I made the situation better when I promptly told him that our family would not be eating on tv trays. Psh.

Fast forward a few days to think about what the other had said. My sister-in-law made a wonderful dinner of steak, fried potatoes, green bean casserole and a salad. Sean was off work for the night and was napping/catching up on TV. The kiddos and I practiced their spelling words while dinner was being put together. As soon as the steaks were brought in off the grill, Lex promptly walked back to her bedroom and grabbed the extra chair while J set the table for 5. It is not unusual for our family to eat around the table, we've just never made a big deal about it. We all sat around the table, discussing how stressful it had been at work lately, tests that were coming up at school, and excitement surrounding upcoming volleyball and basketball games. Our table is very small; it's a round, four person table. You can be certain that elbows were knocking. Should you be invited to dinner at my house, please don't feel offended if your personal space feels a little violated (but also, please, ignore the carpet and linoleum)!

It's cozy, though. And you can be certain that I know what my nephew's favorite (and least favorite) subjects are and that he only puts "Ja" at that top of his papers because people call him "J" and that's how he thinks it should be spelled. I know how excited my niece is to be 3-0 at volleyball but how that also makes her feel a lot of pressure. I know how Sean is doing in school and that the vertebral section is his toughest yet. I know all the reasons that my sister in law doesn't enjoy her job but that she is good at it and that brings her enough satisfaction to stay. I have insight into what my family members are going through and that is important to strengthen our bond.

Apparently my husband realized this as well. I made sure to tell him while we were cleaning up that these moments are usually my favorite part of the day. I haven't convinced him to put a giant hole in our wall, yet, but he finally agreed to go shopping for a nice dining room table once he's out of school.

To Swim or Not To Swim

Almost done, a photo by Stephanie.Sekscinski on Flickr.

Today is the day we are supposed to find out if our concrete pond can be fixed or not. We found a really great pool guy (who henceforth shall be called, "the pool guy") who gave us a quote on Tuesday to have the pool fixed which we can work with. However, the pool hasn't been up and running in almost ten years and was left in even worse shape than this. The pool guy is supposed to come out today after work to test the pressure in the lines. If they hold pressure, he could start work next weekend! If they don't hold pressure, then the pool that was supposedly winterized SO well will have to be filled up one last time... with dirt.
I tossed and turned all night Tuesday night and went from dreams about pool disasters to waking up to think some more about the pool. There was quite a bit of prayer on Tuesday night seeking guidance. After a phone call on Wednesday which helped us decide what we were going to do, I slept just fine.
I hope that the lines either check out or that they don't and that there is NO gray area. We are really okay either way at this point - we'll be okay filling it in if the pipes are busted or we will be ECSTATIC to get to potentially swim this summer. Either way, we will be making our back yard look better than how we found it.

Busy

It would appear that as soon as the weather got warm enough to stand outside without a parka, our schedule filled up! Yet when I try to think about something to blog, there really isn't anything that exciting to read about going on.
Over the span of two months, we have been invited to two weddings and one wedding reception for some very good friends who are leaving soon for Cancun where they will be having a beach wedding. So of course, each of those has their own wedding shower and bachelorette party. One cousin is preparing for a new baby while another cousin was finally able to adopt her daughter - parties for both. My very best friend's grandparents are celebrating a big anniversary - party. My neice celebrated her 9th birthday with a party at our house and Sean's birthday is coming up so I'm sure there will be a party there as well with all of his friends. Is it any surprise that for my birthday next month I want a low-key day?!
Between all of the celebrations we have so kindly been invited to, we have planned a good number of projects to work on around the house. We have finished the majority of the work on our privacy fence which I have looked forward to having since we very first looked at the house. We badly need to re-side the garage and tear down the carport and some other minor maintenance tasks before Sean starts school in August. This weekend, in the midst of the heatwave we are experiencing, Sean's family is helping put together a softball tournament to benefit families in Joplin who are having difficulties paying for funeral services for those lost in the tornado. Since I don't possess an athletic gene, but I'm kinda smart, I'm running the concession stand.
I am planning on taking off work through the last week in July to relax and enjoy some time with the hubs before he starts school and our finances become tight. I want to go to the beach so badly, but he doesn't want to go very far away (I fall asleep too quickly so I'm apparently not a reliable navigator. Whatev). Regardless of what we do or where we go, I won't be at or think about work which will be a very welcome feeling I am certain.

My Glass

Glass half empty: realizing that I've eaten all of my gum (with some help from my nieces) after eating a super garlicky spaghetti lunch.
Glass half full: remembering that I "stole" the rest of the mints this morning at my early morning meeting at the hospital. They have really good mints and no one else was in the room.

Glass half empty: wishing so badly I could go home because the rain makes me want to nap.
Glass half full: because it's raining, I won't have to water this weekend which means I have more time to do other things. Like nap this weekend.

Glass half empty: this next week looks so daunting, with a number of tasks at work and home that have to be done by a certain time. Our fence has to be finished by Memorial Day because we won't have any help after that. I have a deadline that has to be met by next Friday or else I won't be able to take Tuesday off or will have to work from home the entire weekend & Memorial Day, which I won't be compensated for.
Glass half full: I took this job in order to have a challenge. I can't ask for a challenge and then complain about it. And after Memorial Day, the entire fence will be done, beautiful and something we can be proud of. We WILL finish it.

Glass half empty: dreading the holes we have to dig this weekend for our fence we're putting up over memorial weekend, possibly in the rain.
Glass half full: we're making memories working on a project together for which I am very thankful. We don't have to hire someone to do our project when we can do it ourselves (with a LITTLE oversight from my father. That could be glass half empty AND half full, I'll let you decide). Also, I have a husband who is willing and eager to try to do these projects on our own. I love that he wants to improve our home just as much as I do. After talking to some of my other girlfriends, I am extra thankful for that.

Rainy Easter BBQ

This post would make for a more interesting read had I taken pictures yesterday, but I did not because I spent the entire day up and down and back and forth and all over my house making sure everyone was having a good time that I completely forgot to take pictures! I wanted to post, though, so that in the future I can remember my first Easter family gathering in my home. So bear with me. I'm still new to this having a blog thing (again).
Saturday morning I woke Sean up at 6:30 (that's AM, people) to hit up this sale at Sutherlands: 1/2 off trees and shrubs. We got quite a bit for not a whole lot. I also purchased some geraniums in hanging pots to hang on one of the 20 hooks on our back porch (this is not an exaggeration) and they really brought some spring to that area. When we got home at about 7:30 we crashed onto the couch and did not move until about noon. I have been battling some sinus problems so I really didn't feel good, and Sean doesn't usually wake up until about 10 or 11 anyway so it was a lazy Saturday.
When we finally mustered the strength to pull ourselves into an upright position, we scrubbed the house until it shined and then scrubbed a little more. My husband and I have a different opinion of what "tidy" means but beyond that we worked very well together. We treated ourselves to a date at Target and Chick-Fil-A. We redboxed The Tourist on the way home and I have no idea if it was good or not. I wasn't awake for much past the opening credits.
Sunday morning we were up and at 'em to finish getting things ready for a family dinner at 12:30. I iced the cake and colored eggs with the niece and nephew. I dragged Sean out of bed and we got ready for church with Mom and Dad. We brought the niece and nephew along with us and during the opening worship Sean leaned over and said, "I don't think J is going to make it." Dad asked if he wanted to sit next to him and J jumped at the opportunity. They proceeded to play tic-tac-to throughout the sermon and I could barely hear them whispering back and forth about what was going on in the service. Lex does great in church with me. I don't know if she ever gets much out of it, but she continues to want to come so I'll continue to take her.
We made it home right as my father-in-law was pulling in our driveway. We ended up having 20 people altogether at our house for burgers and hot dogs and all that is appropriate at a BBQ. The rain held off just long enough to grill everything and then the skies opened up again to continue to pour for the remainder of the day. After a couple of hours, Sean's mom and dad were both around the same table remembering "the good ol' days," and laughing about Easter's past. This isn't entirely out of the ordinary; my in-laws get along very well. But it is still very refreshing to see.
After everyone left, I had an overwhelming sense of joy from the events of the day. I didn't get to spend very much time with my family, but I have excellent in-laws. I feel like Sean's family is mine and they treat me just the same. I love that feeling and the feeling of everyone just being together. It was an excellent Easter.

Things I Love (and Some Things I Don't)

These are some things that I love today:

• A productive weekend full of hard work and sweat.
• Coming home to a clean house, no laundry to do and a spotless fridge.
• Thinking, "I could really go for some bacon," and then smelling bacon, followed by the realization that my sister-in-law is making breakfast for dinner. I believe I'll be over for dinner!
• Getting a text message from my bestie that she is watching the movie that defines our friendship and then texting each other our favorite line. "You look like a girl!" "I am a girl you half-wit!" "Yeah, but today you look it!" Good times.
• Planning summer projects with my husband and doing all of the necessary research.

Now here are the things that I don't like:

• Bradford pear trees in my yard.
• Realizing that it's not my yard.
• Giving in and letting my husband plant cleveland pear trees in our yard.

Ugh. This marriage thing is hard sometimes.

Gratitude

Send some rain, would You send some rain?

'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again

And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade

Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?

Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down

Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid

But maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You

With gratitude

For lessons learned in how to thirst for You

How to bless the very sun that warms our face

If You never send us rain

Oh the differences that often are between

Everything we want and what we really need.

I did a presentation in college on this song to a primarily agnostic class my freshman year. The assignment was to find a song that represented who you were and demonstrated your outlook on life. I knew it would be received with glazed eyes and a skeptical professor but I still come back to its words several years later. (I wonder if the students who did their presentation on Teen Spirit could still say the same.)

I'm really seeking guidance on so many levels about the things we really need and those that are only desires.

Gratitude ~ Nichole Nordeman