Sub-Par Quality

Fear not, I have not forgotten about my blog. I just haven't had anything to share. Sure, I could have found PLENTY of juicy info to share, but it probably would have ended up as cryptic as a 15 year old girl's facebook. My excuse is simple: life right now is {so chaotic} that I don't know which way is up.

Really, though, I feel like that is my problem: I have forgotten which way is up, because I have obviously not been taking too many concerns in that direction. I have been in search for a church since October 2009. Like probably 99.9999999% of folks (excluding, of course, my mother and my brother) meeting new people is just not my forte. There is a reason why my very best friend is the same girl who befriended me in Ms. Peebles' 2nd grade class in 1992. I have tried a handful of different local churches and have instantly found reasons not to like them. However, I was not sure if I felt uncomfortable there simply because I do not like to meet new people in an unfamiliar space, or if I was truly being led elsewhere.

I tried a different church on Sunday I {loved} the experience! An older gentleman sat down next to me in church and struck up a conversation; come to find out, he knew my husband as Sean was growing up and thought the world of him. Afterwards, he introduced me to his wife who responded like we were just old friends. They introduced me to the pastor afterwards and I felt encouraged to ask about Sunday School opportunities. He instantly introduced me to another gal my age and she took me to a "young married's" class, where I felt like I had been going forever. It was exactly what I had been waiting for: a place to feel at home, where the congregants treated each other like family. Because that's what we are, right?! I left feeling vibrant and refueled. It honestly wouldn't have taken a whole lot to feel that way, though, because I hadn't been anywhere in probably over a month. My life was feeling murky. Now, I am excited to go back for more and that's a wonderful feeling.

The feeling couldn't have come at a more perfect time, either. Sean's schedule is particularly chaotic at the moment with school and work. The softball season is winding down (can I get a hallelujah?!) and I think he has realized that perhaps the commitment was a little too much on his plate. Additionally, the kids' extracurricular activities are in full swing and, while I am not taking them to practice and may not go to all the games, we are still all under the same roof and we do well to work around each other's schedules and be aware of where everyone is going to be. So, I have been making a calendar to outline Sean's weekly school schedule and ever-variable work schedule and added to it J's football practices & games, Lex's volleyball practices, the family softball games, and other items we have planned on the weekends. I worked out a menu with Ashley for the week and so far these small gestures have helped everyone to stay on track and know what to expect (I think the kiddos like having their names on the master schedule, too - it makes them feel involved). I like order and the lack has made the quality of our days more than sub-par. I won't say this week has been of the highest quality, but I will say that having that sense of order has certainly improved what we have been lacking over the course of the last month.

Now we just have to get our finances figured out. Going from 2 full time paychecks to 1 1/2 checks is just not fun. There isn't another way to put it.

Gratitude

Send some rain, would You send some rain?

'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again

And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade

Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?

Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down

Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid

But maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You

With gratitude

For lessons learned in how to thirst for You

How to bless the very sun that warms our face

If You never send us rain

Oh the differences that often are between

Everything we want and what we really need.

I did a presentation in college on this song to a primarily agnostic class my freshman year. The assignment was to find a song that represented who you were and demonstrated your outlook on life. I knew it would be received with glazed eyes and a skeptical professor but I still come back to its words several years later. (I wonder if the students who did their presentation on Teen Spirit could still say the same.)

I'm really seeking guidance on so many levels about the things we really need and those that are only desires.

Gratitude ~ Nichole Nordeman