Day {Five}

{Day 5 Something you don’t leave the house without}


Short post: my phone.
(Don’t worry though, I’ll make up for it in the end…)


I don’t leave my house to go on a walk without my phone. It’s a must have. I never know when I am going to get lost!

(Literally, I really never know when I am going to be walking down a street and think, hmm – am I really lost in this town of less than 1,000 people? I have no clue where I am!)


Now onto the post about what has actually been going on in our lives, Sean & I have been attending a great many appointments at the dentist office recently. He just hasn’t gone in 10+ years so he has a large amount of (painful) dental work to catch up on. Mine isn’t so bad, just some things I opted not to have done the last time I went to the dentist (about 2 years ago). Hopefully this time next year our teeth will be perfectly healthy and we can resume an every six month schedule. That’s much less expensive than going a couple of times a month to catch up on years of neglect. And right before Christmas…

Christmas this year is going to be sparse and this is making it difficult for me to get into the spirit. Sean has only asked me about a half dozen times to make a list so he’ll know what to get me. My holiday would really be less stressful if he wouldn’t get me anything because I know we can’t really afford it. And that stress really takes away from the focus of the season. But I’m really bummed that we can’t do much for everyone else. I am having a baking blowout the Friday before Christmas with the kids and have been stocking up since Halloween for it. That’s going to be the extent of our Christmas giving to friends and family. And that day with the kiddos may be our Christmas present to them.

Besides getting down for being unable to do much for our family for the holidays, I took a second job to help supplement what we’re missing from Sean’s paycheck. I am trying to make a conscience effort everyday not to complain about it because that stresses him out which he doesn’t really need with everything else he has on his plate. He DAILY shows his gratitude for my hard work when I am at least getting paid for the time I put in. Meanwhile, we are paying for him to put so much extra time at the hospital. I just really, really hate it. I am so very fortunate to have an opportunity and a decent reputation to be able to take a second job when so many people don’t have jobs period. But I am exhausted just about every waking hour and the only thing I can muster to think these days is that I really can’t wait until it’s time for bed. I wake up tired and by the time I get to my “grown-up” job, I have already lost my drive for the day. Particularly on days I have to go to my “after school” job, I spend the entire day trying to figure out where to start, all the while worrying about how badly I just don’t want to go to work after I get off work. Not to mention, the days that I don’t have to work are spent frantically cleaning and picking up things that have just unraveled at home while I was gone working. And there is so much at home that I just don’t even want to go home to anymore. I’d rather close the door to my bedroom and hide away.

Friday I peeled off another month on my countdown. 21 months! We are a great team! We can do it! And in 21 months we will be stronger for it.