Day {Twenty+Two}

Day 22 A photo of something that means a lot to you

I didn't post anything on Friday and I have gotten to the point that I feel a void in my day if I don't take a moment to just lay out my thoughts but I really didn't have any clue how to answer the question for day 22. I love a lot of things in my house, but I really don't have just one meaningful thing.


I could have posted a picture of my grandfather's tattered bible. The binding is worn off and the pages are brown with age. There are half a dozen flowers dried between the pages and I have no idea why or the occasion they represent. There are various notes scratched in between the verses which is meaningful because I have never been very clear on my grandpa's stance when it came to faith.


I could have posted a picture of a few of the ornaments that Sean and I have collected over the last couple of years. They are still shiny and new but they hang on our tree anxious to age with our family.


I could have posted a picture of a ragged copy of a book my mother gave me when I was in 2nd grade. It's a chapter book of "Beauty and the Beast" and it appears very unassuming but just inside the front cover is a long note written by my mother for being such a good big sister. It means so much to me because it was a gift she gave me for no reason and I remember never having felt so proud before. It sounds pretty lame but it has great meaning to me.


For now, though, I'll post a picture of one of my favorite days with the symbol of our vows. There have been quite a few things that have gone on over the last couple of weeks. A lot of really crappy things that have made us wonder why bad things happen, particularly so close to the holidays. Things that have made the view of our family turn a little sideways. Things that I have been forced to only pray about because I can't do anything else to fix the situation. My thoughts have been consumed with a family member's health problems, with a friend's preparation for a possible loss of a grandparent, with another family member's crisis, with the loss of my husband's step-grandmother, and with my own hurt feelings. Looking over my wedding pictures last night I was reminded of the beauty that day held for me. It was so much fun to be there with our friends and family members and it really seems so far away now. But the vows were for the good times as well as the bad. We haven't had a blast over the last few weeks, but we've done it together and that has been immensely better than going through it alone.

Day {Twenty+One}

Day 21 Plans/goals/dreams you have
Plans:

• Work until 9:00 pm tonight at my after school job
• Come home afterwards and make a coconut cream pie by request for our office Christmas party tomorrow
• Be at St. John's at 7:00 am for a meeting tomorrow
• Work tomorrow night until 10:30 (but then I'm done for a few days!!!)
• Scrub my house this weekend in preparation for our Christmas Eve family dinner with Sean's mother's side of the family. Have I mentioned that the count so far is up to 30 people? Yeah, I am not sure where they will all sit yet... or how we are going to feed that many people with the one ham we had intended on.
• Send out our Christmas cards
• Finalize my list of goodies to make with the kiddos for family and neighbors
• "Rent" a movie for a date night with the hubs. We deserve it and will probably need it

Goals:

• For now, just to survive until vacation after the new year
• Get Sean through radiology school
• Pay off all of our student loans
• Various house projects to really make our house a home
 

Dreams:

• Sean to graduate radiology school and be immediately hired on to a full time position at Cox where he gets to keep his benefits and, by then, almost ten years of raises
• Figure out what I want to do when I grow up
• Buy a new(er) car
• Sell our home
• Buy a nicer home with far fewer improvements required
• Have a baby
• Maybe two
• Be good parents
• Work hard at something we enjoy
• Retire
• Live happily ever after. :)

Day {Twenty}

Day 20 A photo of something that makes you happy

Note: The topic is someTHING that makes me happy and not someONE - otherwise you could just look at the heading picture.

My iPad is my very favorite THING. If our house was on fire, I'd grab it before I grabbed my purse. Recently, I have had a difficult time finding joy at home, but I can turn on my iPad and read a book or play on pinterest or watch something from either our Dish or Netflix and go somewhere else.

It also makes me think of when I got it - I am not someone who is easily surprised. No, I'm far too nosey and will usually figure it out on my own. I had absolutely no clue I was receiving this for my birthday and it absolutely has made my year.

Day {Nineteen}

Day 19 A photo of your favorite place to eat

The kitchen: before, a photo by Stephanie.Sekscinski on Flickr.

Now, I'm not boasting because when it comes to cooking, I'm really not that great. I can make a pretty good pie and am learning something new with each sweet treat I attempt, but I can't do much on the stove. Each time I've tried to make gravy has resulted in an epic fail. Epic.
But I love to try something new and even if it tastes horrible, I'll stomach at least a taste before I pull out a can of spaghettios which we always have in stock. It's a work in progress!

Day {Eighteen}

Day 18 A letter to your parents

Dear Mom & Dad,


Thank you for giving me a “normal childhood.” I don’t feel scarred or misdirected in life and judging by some of the parenting I have seen, I think that is a huge accomplishment.


Thank you for getting text messaging. People get all defensive about how texting is ruining our ability to communicate. I think we have probably communicated more in the last couple of months than we have since I moved out and I know you have texted Sean more than you have talked to him on the phone. You may not have done it purposefully but texting is our primary form of communication. Without it, that was a real barrier so thank you for getting it. I don’t always feel like I can call you but I know I can always text you.


Thank you for not disowning me when I quit college.


Thank you for showing me how to love others and how family should be treated. That phrase, you better be nice to me – I’m the one that will pick out your nursing home, will hopefully never apply. You have taught me the importance of treating others the way you want to be treated, and not as an incentive to get others to be nice to you but because it’s just the right thing to do. I cannot imagine the difficulties of taking care of your mother-in-law. My mother-in-law and I get along just fine but I cannot imagine the patience and immense love for another that it takes to bite your tongue so frequently in your own home. That said, Dad, I know it’s fun to antagonize the old lady but let her just be grumpy some days. Think about how much fun I’m going to have with you when you are 90. I will just be that blessed to have you around for that long.


Thank you for showing me a marriage that God has enriched. More of our friends have separated than gotten married since we got married a year and a half ago. My biggest fear is a failed marriage. I am so very proud to call you my parents. It also makes Christmas about a thousand and a half times easier only having one family Christmas to attend than multiples. That said, because we do have to attend so many different family Christmases on Sean's side, you never once have gotten jealous of the time we spend with that side of the family. I get jealous all of the time so your patience makes me feel better. Thank you for showing me the attributes that I don’t want incorporate into my marriage, too. Dad, you’ve told me on more than once, “Now, don’t do what I would’ve done. Have patience.” The good far outweighs the bad though.


Thank you for showing me how to work hard and to appreciate a full day of work as opposed to a day spent idle. I am proud of my work ethic; it could be much worse.


Thank you for never letting good be enough.


Thank you for giving me a Christ-centered childhood. I may not always have a strong foothold but I have a solid foundation.


Love,
Your favorite child

Day {Seventeen}

{Day 17 Something you crave a lot}

Delish!

Day {Sixteen}

{Day 16 A photo of somewhere you want to go}

I really think I may have been born in the wrong region of the United States. No wait, God doesn't make mistakes so that's right... in fact, I was born in the right part of the US, it's my parents that uprooted us and moved me away from the East Coast.

If I had a free ticket to anywhere in the world right this minute, I would visit the Massachusetts/Maine area. I realize that there is a much bigger world to visit, but I am enamored by the stories I've been told and the cuisine I've heard so much about. My grandmother hasn't lived in Dedham for probably 60 years at the very least but she still sounds like she's just left Massachusetts. I would love to go see where she grew up and the sights that she was accustomed to so long ago. I'd love to visit old lighthouses and read the history of where our country was formed.

In reality, I know that much of this area is quite a bit more populated that when she was born in 1921. I know that times and people have changed but it would still be so much fun to me to visit, especially if she were there to supplement the sight seeing with stories.

Most importantly though, it is all about the food. For me, vacation is about 95% about the dining experience. It can rain the entire week but feed me some crab legs and I'll be alright. The lodging could be unfit for a homeless shelter but as long as there is some buttery lobster in front of me, I could care less about the bed bugs.


We went to Mexico in January which was loads better than being in Missouri in January, but I don't know that I would necessarily want to re-visit. It rained about half the time and the ocean was not the most fun even when it wasn't raining because I was scared to death of sting rays and the floor was comprised of sharp rocks and coral. Not fun, but I could overlook that. What I couldn't overlook was that all of the food tasted the same. Don't get me wrong. The selection was good, the service was wonderful and the steak was delish. But I can eat steak at home any day of the week; I cannot, however, eat fresh seafood. The only time I had fish in Mexico was from the buffet and it had definitely been frozen at one point in time, and probably for a while.

When you think about good eats, it's on the east coast. It's caught fresh, cooked up by people who were fed oyster juice in their bottle and know what they're doing in the kitchen. It makes the experience memorable and brings back a craving whenever thoughts wander to that last vacation. The most memorable part of Dauphin Island? Sean & I visited a run down establishment that had the.best.flounder. It was amazing and produced my favorite picture of the entire trip.

So yes, I would love to visit Italy one day and to experience the Eiffel Tower another day and I would be thrilled to explore the Greek islands. But really, you should know that I would only be going to see what real Italian pasta tastes like and to tour authentic French bistros. For now though, I would be satisfied with a hearty plate of seafood, caught just this morning.

Day {Fifteen}

{Day 15 A picture of somewhere you’ve been}

I love winter.
I love the cold. I love the snow. I love the crisp, clean feeling of winter.
But I .LOVE. the beach. I realize now that I had a very blessed childhood; my parents took us to the beach nearly every summer. When I got into high school, my parents also let me invite my best friend. How many people (from the midwest) can say that they got to visit the beach with their bestie FOR 4 YEARS IN A ROW!?  Those are some pretty sweet memories. 

I can't remember if it was 3 or 4 years ago now, but my parents were in need of a vacation and asked me to go with them, but also asked Sean if he would come as well. Sean knew my parents but wasn't quite at the point that he felt comfortable in a room alone with them. My parents knew Sean but really didn't know much about him other than what I had told them. Essentially, this was an important trip in our relationship. 

We went to Dauphin Island in Alabama. Sean had been to the beach but he had been so young he could hardly remember it. We spent the entire time in the water or on the beach drinking an icy margarita. It was a blast!

We did nearly everything as a family. Sean had a good opportunity to really get to know Will, which was supremely important to me. My family left the beach with a much better idea of who this guy I had been seeing was and were satisfied. I knew this boy would fit in just fine and I was proud. It was a good trip.

Day {Fourteen}

{Day 14 Something you could never get tired of doing}
Ok, in the literal sense, I could get tired of doing anything. I just don't have that long of an attention span. But these two things instantly popped into my mind when I read this question:

1. Gift wrapping. Because I could do it tirelessly, though, does not mean that I am a wrapping paper mastermind. In fact, I could research bow-tying a little more and improve the look of my gifts about 150%. Yesterday I got all of Sean's Christmas shopping done minus one gift I need to order online and one edible stocking stuffer I need to purchase closer to Christmas. All of my hidey-holes are filled with things I have no place else to store at the moment, so I had to come home and wrap all of his presents before he got home last night. It's a rough life. I love a beautifully wrapped gift with a handsome bow on top. It makes the gift that much more special - even if it is just socks. :)
2. Baking. And none of that gluten, sugar, fat free crap. The kind of baking that requires Crisco and (real) butter and lots of brown & granulated sugar. There is just no other way to bake. And if it weren't for all of the cleaning up, I would do it more often. I was trying to remember back to the last pie or cobbler I baked and I can't even remember. There have been lots of times that I have come home determined to make a batch of cookies, and then get distracted thinking of all those dishes I will have to wash afterwards. December 23rd I have dedicated the entire day to baking and making goodies with the niece and nephew. They have a blast and I have a blast being their favorite for a few hours. Afterwards comes the best part: distributing our goodies to our neighbors and family members. That will be most delightful. 

Day {Thirteen}

{Day 13  What you would find in my bag }


Ha! After today’s shopping excursion, you won’t be finding any money in there, that’s for sure!

In my purse (because that’s the only bag I carry):

Wallet with about 28 cents in pennies
Chapstick
Phone
Keys
Sunglasses
Rainkissed leaves hand lotion
iPad -most of the time – I have my calendar and some work stuff on it so I can look at it anywhere. Also, I usually have my book on it so I always have something to do even when I am not connected to the internet.
A smaller make-up bag with whatever nail polish I’m wearing that month and assorted lip glosses.
A smaller make-up bag with pens and pencils and a flash drive for when I’m not working in my office
Family video card
Family video cheat card of daily deals
Tums (for Sean)
Pepto (for me)
About 50,000 receipts that I always take to put into our register later and then never do.

Day {Twelve}

{Day 12 Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play}

1. Revelation, Third Day
2. Have You Ever Been in Love, Celine Dion
3. Learning to Breath, Switchfoot from the A Walk to Remember soundtrack
4. Slide, Goo Goo Dolls (sigh... <3)
5. Pastures New, Nickel Creek
6. Sin Wagon, Dixie Chicks
7. You, Breaking Benjamin
8. Tent in the Center of Town, Sara Groves
9. Until the Whole World Hears, Casting Crowns
10. Just the Way You Are, Bruno Mars

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! My momma and I are going shopping tomorrow. We are doing a little bit of Christmas Shopping and a lot of Sam's shopping. Dad gave me a budget to get a few staples. #1 in the Sekscinski house: ketchup. This family puts ketchup on e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. #2? Country Bob's. If you can't put ketchup on it, then you'd better be able to put country bob's on it. Sean bought himself a new toy a while back because there has been some theft in the area recently and just for an added sense of security. He is taking it to the shooting range on Saturday with some buddies. It makes me nervous so I don't want to go to the range with him. He said that was fine, he'd just tell me we were going to Cheddar's sometime and take me there instead. I told him, way to go genius, now I'll never agree to go eat at Cheddar's again and we love Cheddar's.
Sunday I have to work. The after school job has been going better lately. They are only working me 5-10 hours a week, which is perfection. That way, even though I work on Sunday I still have the better part of the day to spend with family.
Monday I am way excited for, though. My sister-in-law & I are playing hookie from work and going outlet shopping in Branson. It's all the holiday deals without all of the people!

The List

For some reason, I can't comment on my own blog (?) but maybe it's blocked at work.
I couldn't find just one 30 day list I liked. I don't like to get very political and each list had questions I just didn't want to answer. So, I Frankensteined a list together and am much more satisfied with the questions.

Day 1 Your favorite song

Day 2 Your favorite movie

Day 3 Your first date.

Day 4 Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

Day 5 Something you don’t leave the house without.

Day 6 The meaning behind your blog name.

Day 7 What’s in your makeup bag?

Day 8 A song to match your mood.

Day 9 A TV show you’re currently addicted to.

Day 10 A photo of the item you last purchased.

Day 11 A bad habit

Day 12 Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 13 What I Would find in your bag

Day 14 Something you could never get tired of doing.

Day 15 A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 16 A photo of somewhere you want to go.

Day 17 Something you crave for a lot

Day 18 A letter to your parents

Day 19 A photo of your favorite place to eat.

Day 20 A photo of something that makes you happy.

Day 21 Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 22 A photo of something that means a lot to you.

Day 23 A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 24 Favorite super hero and why

Day 25 A picture of your family

Day 26 A letter to yourself in 10 years

Day 27 Short term goals for this month and why

Day 28 A photograph of yourself today and 15 facts about you.

Day 29 Three good things that have happened in the past 30 days

Day 30 In this past month, what have you learned?

Day {Eleven}

{Day 11 A bad habit}




Thank goodness this is day 11. I have had 11 days (plus 2 weekends and a major holiday) to think about this question. And not because I don’t have any bad habits, but because I was having a difficult time picking just one bad habit that was also not so bad that I could still share with the great unknown.


I am a huge quitter. The very first time it dawned on me was actually when my father told me in the heat of a very intense argument we were having. It was mean and spoken out of anger but after much contemplation over the words, I do realize that this is a very big personal flaw of mine.


I went to college for 5 years. I couldn’t decide on a major and finally experienced some major burnout (combined with some enormous debt) so I quit.


Aside from my current position, I’ve never held a job more than 2 years. I get bored and move on. The only reason I’ve had this job for 4 years is because for the first 2 years I did one job role and then got a promotion into another role for the next 2 years. I just passed my second anniversary in this role and I am beginning to feel the burnout.


I begin Bible studies and quit around page 32. I start blogs and then don’t post anything for months. I create budgets and then ignore them by the second pay period. I start habits that would make excellent traditions but that don’t make it past the first year.


Reading back over what I’ve written, I feel the need to justify myself to myself. Just because I am a huge quitter doesn’t mean that while I’m at work I don’t give 126%. Just because I went to school for 5 years doesn’t mean that I am dumb – I did very well in school and continue to love to learn. Everything I have started has begun with the very best of intentions. I really mean to improve my life or the lives of those around me with my efforts. I just have a difficult time following through.


Ever since the night my dad said that to me, I have made it my mission to prove him wrong. At the beginning of the year I declared my word for the year to be {quality}. I have meditated over this word each time I begin to quit something or I feel the burnout begin. And I can see changes taking place. I have observed myself following through on things that I seriously considered quitting. A lot of the problem, I have realized, is my attitude. My burn out can easily be curbed by finding something to liven up the current situation. Work got incredibly overwhelming for a while, and then immediately got slow. I am finding tasks to do to improve work flow for not just myself, but my teammates as well (when I apply myself, I really am a smart cookie).


We put the Christmas tree up last night and it was very rushed because I usually do it on the weekend or when I have the entire day off. I only had a couple of hours so I had to work quite a bit faster. But going through our boxes I found several things that we have worked on making tradition over the last couple of years and I truly hope that we can continue to do them over the next several years.


This isn’t really a tradition, it just happens to be something that we’ve done each year. Our parents were wonderful about giving us and keeping meaningful ornaments throughout the years (Sean just has to look a little harder for his, there’s no telling where they’ve been stored!). For the last couple of years we’ve “borrowed” an ornament from our childhood to add to our tree. Sean has brought his set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ornaments from when he was a kid and a little Rudolph ornament had his brother’s name inscribed in it from 1985 (why doesn’t anyone do those tin type ornaments anymore?). I have several ornaments noting the first 5 years of my life so in about 18 more years I should have them all on my tree.


This tradition isn’t very original. When we put up our first Christmas tree we bought an ornament to commemorate our very first home. Last year we bought a silver bell and had it inscribed “Just Married” with the year. This year, we are very excited to receive in the mail (today) our 2011 ornament:

Finally, this is my very favorite tradition. I’ve sent Christmas cards out for each year we’ve been in the house. I’ve kept one of the Christmas cards and put our usual greeting that we’ve sent to everyone else (it’s usually the “oops” card that I’ve misspelled a word or have the very worst handwriting). On the back I write the year and put down 5 things that we have accomplished or the things we did for Christmas. The first year I was so excited to write that we bought a house! We also went to see Sherlock Holmes that Christmas night. The second year, we got married! We also put all of our money into improving the house and stayed home on Christmas night because Sean had to work. This year, Sean got into and began Radiology School! We were able to eliminate all car payments and will be having Christmas dinner at our house on Christmas Eve.

Day {Ten}

{Day 10 A photo of the item you last purchased.

Just before the food poisoning kicked in that would knock us flat on our backs for an entire day, we did a little shopping. We were actually looking for some bath towels (Sean just wasn’t a big fan of my hot pink and white towels from college) when I happened upon this little snowman. I have told myself that we have plenty of decorations for the small area I have to decorate so we don't need to be purchasing anymore. But he was so cute and was less than $10 so I went for it. Since Saturday was the day we had intended on putting up our tree but were unable, this guy is the only decoration we have up right now! However, my dad came by our house last night to pick up the sewing desk. We followed him back to my parent's house to unload it and, since we were there, to eat dinner as well. Tonight I have big plans for White Christmas on the TV, apple pie and cinnamon candles throughout the house, hot chocolate with big fat marshmallows in my mug and putting up our TREE!

Day {Nine}

{Day 9 A TV show you’re currently addicted to}

I LOVE Big Bang Theory. This picture is from my very favorite episode. If you aren't familiar with the show, Leonard & Sheldon are brilliant scientists and Penny is a normal girl. Penny gets a gift for Sheldon who feels obligated to return the favor.

Sheldon: The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.

As a result, he goes to the local bath store and buys varying priced gift sets. He decides that he will first open Penny's gift, fein gastrointestinal discomfort and remove himself from the room where he will look up the price of her gift and reciprocate it with the gift set that costs near what her gift cost. However, he doesn't prepare for the possibility of a priceless gift... :)



Day {Eight}

{Day 8 A song to match your mood}


We had a horrible weekend at the Sekscinski house this weekend. For “date night” on Friday night, we had a ferocious craving for some hibachi & sushi (well, Sean had the craving for sushi). There is a little place that we had been wanting to try for months because according to the menu posted online it was cheaper than other Japanese restaurants in the area and because it didn’t appear to have the huge hibachi grills with the big show you have to watch with 8 of your nearest and dearest strangers. Perfect, right? Wrong! I was up from 1 AM until noon and he was up from 8 AM until 8 PM. We’re about 99.999% sure it was food poisoning and about 99.9999999999% sure it was from that restaurant. Suck. We both called in to work on Saturday and suffered through Sunday. He seems to be fine now but my stomach is still a little shy…

Not an awesome way to spend the weekend we were supposed to put the Christmas tree up. In fact, the only decorating I got done was to cut the tags off of a little snowman I purchased from TJ Maxx and put on one of our end tables. However, I don’t work at all this week at my after school job so I should have plenty of time to work on it. Before I can put anything up, though we have to figure out how to get my grandmother’s sewing table from our living room to my parent’s house. It’s a heavy piece of furniture! We have a few projects lined up over the next year that will involve moving furniture around and that desk is so precious to me that I would rather move it back to Mom & Dad’s house once as opposed to moving it around several times at my house and risk damaging it in any way.

I searched my iPod for the perfect sickly song because that would match my mood, but couldn’t find anything. I have been listening to Casting Crowns “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” a lot already this season. I love this version – it’s very somber but ends in faithful anticipation. The song conveys the feeling of doubt and then reaffirms the need for hope, particularly when all conditions aren’t necessarily ideal.

Day {Seven}

{Day 7 What’s in your makeup bag?}


I am one of those people that really needs to wear make-up. I look like an entirely different person without it (and not in a beautiful, natural way. Like an "I thought Halloween was over?” kind of way). Furthermore, I have my father’s complexion so if I so much as scratch an itch on my nose, I will have a big, fat pimple in the exact spot the very next day.


I have looked up to my cousin my entire life (she’s always been taller than me). So when she introduced me to Bare Escentuals a few years ago, I of course had to jump on that bandwagon as well. Now? I can’t live without it.

I was skeptical at first because I have incredibly oily skin (I could put the middle east out of business if you could figure out how to run cars off of it) but this stuff is awesome. It controls the oil slick without totally drying me out. As sad as it is to say, it has been one of the hardest things to budget for with our income while Sean is in school. It seems more than a little ridiculous trying to justify spending $20 on make-up, so when I do need to get it I’ll restrict myself to PB&Js until I don’t feel bad about buying it anymore! This stuff truly is amazing, though, and I will forfeit birthday presents and Christmas gifts just to have more.

We had a great Thanksgiving but no photos were taken to capture the day. We spent the morning being lazy. Sean slept until 11 and I laid around watching movies did laundry all morning. Our first Thanksgiving was at my aunt and uncles. Not even half of our family was there and I hate to say this considering the small group but it was one of the more fun holidays I can remember in quite a while. It was so much fun to sit around the table and chat. A big secret was revealed and I love that I was in on it before the big announcement. I love it even more that Grandma was the one that revealed it! She never knows about anything before anyone else!

We left Nixa and headed back to Billings for the second Thanksgiving of the day. It was very nice as well but I had to leave early to head to work (but not before I got a good 20 minute nap in). Work was incredibly slow but the pay wasn't too shabby... Sean & I are both off of work tonight. I will be disassembling my sewing table and cleaning out the drawers to move it back to my mom & dad's house. There is NO room to sew where it currently sits and the sewing machine really needs to be maintenanced which I cannot currently afford. More importantly, though, we have NO WHERE to put the CHRISTMAS TREE! I don't have much time to put the tree up this year but I'm going to take every opportunity I can to get it up this weekend. There's nothing nicer to come home to than a home decorated for Christmas. :D

Happy decorating!

Day {Six}

{Day 6 The meaning behind your blog name.}

In college, I could bang out a 10 page paper in a matter of a couple hours – I am a master BSer. Then, I would sit at my desk for the next couple hours trying to think of a clever name. An ironic name. Any name, other than “An Analysis of Pride & Prejudice Written by the Incomparable Jane Austen.”

I am just awfully uncreative when it comes to naming things. My family had a dog named Barney when I was in kindergarten. He was my first love and my parents gave him away (we lived in town and he kept digging his way to freedom). As a result I wanted to name every subsequent dog Barney. I wanted to name a puppy, a cow and a kitten “Sara” until Dad drew the line. When I got married, we agreed that Sean could name the animals and I would name the children. If he had his way, though, everything would be named after a Transformer. Sir OP is named after Optimus Prime. Angus was originally Ironhide. I finally drew the line on that one.

I wanted a name that would show I had left my mark, that I had been here. It’s not a fleeting thought but a location where I can bring my children back to in years to come and show them where they came from. I wanted a place to write down my thoughts so that somewhere down the road if I came upon a rough patch I could look back and see things that we had overcome together, and maybe discover how to overcome the obstacle of the moment.

I used to be very fascinated by the people who had lived in a town so long they had a road named after them. Where I went to school, there was Kerr Rd, Inman Rd, Little Rd, Keithley Ln, Willoughby Rd, Schubach Rd, Merritt Rd and you be assured that there were lots of Kerrs, Inmans, Littles, Keithleys, Willoughbys & Schubachs in my school and our very good family friends were the Merritts. These were all families that had stuck around in the little community so long that they gave them a road. These families had all left a mark on the community and for generations people can come back to their namesake drive and tell their families, “We were here.”

Let’s face it. There won’t ever be a Sekscinski Road. No one would be able to pronounce it, let alone spell it. But there is something about going down that road that leads to home. It’s very refreshing to feel the weight of the day fade away coming nearer to the comforts of home. In many ways, this blog is becoming more and more like that. (Hopefully something exciting will happen though so I’ll actually have something to document…)(And by exciting I mean good exciting)

Today I am taking a day off! I am getting my hair cut (long overdue) and going to see my friend and her new baby and will finally get to meet her parents. Then I work my after school job until 11 (which I was originally not supposed to work, but –oh well-. Tomorrow I get to spend Thanksgiving with my family followed by dropping in at my mother-in-law’s house for a little bit before going back to my after school job until 11. Friday it’s back to my grown-up job. This is probably one of my favorite days of the year to work. EVERYONE is closed and EVERYONE in my office is on vacation so it’s a good opportunity to catch up on everything that I can’t usually get accomplished on a regular day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Day {Five}

{Day 5 Something you don’t leave the house without}


Short post: my phone.
(Don’t worry though, I’ll make up for it in the end…)


I don’t leave my house to go on a walk without my phone. It’s a must have. I never know when I am going to get lost!

(Literally, I really never know when I am going to be walking down a street and think, hmm – am I really lost in this town of less than 1,000 people? I have no clue where I am!)


Now onto the post about what has actually been going on in our lives, Sean & I have been attending a great many appointments at the dentist office recently. He just hasn’t gone in 10+ years so he has a large amount of (painful) dental work to catch up on. Mine isn’t so bad, just some things I opted not to have done the last time I went to the dentist (about 2 years ago). Hopefully this time next year our teeth will be perfectly healthy and we can resume an every six month schedule. That’s much less expensive than going a couple of times a month to catch up on years of neglect. And right before Christmas…

Christmas this year is going to be sparse and this is making it difficult for me to get into the spirit. Sean has only asked me about a half dozen times to make a list so he’ll know what to get me. My holiday would really be less stressful if he wouldn’t get me anything because I know we can’t really afford it. And that stress really takes away from the focus of the season. But I’m really bummed that we can’t do much for everyone else. I am having a baking blowout the Friday before Christmas with the kids and have been stocking up since Halloween for it. That’s going to be the extent of our Christmas giving to friends and family. And that day with the kiddos may be our Christmas present to them.

Besides getting down for being unable to do much for our family for the holidays, I took a second job to help supplement what we’re missing from Sean’s paycheck. I am trying to make a conscience effort everyday not to complain about it because that stresses him out which he doesn’t really need with everything else he has on his plate. He DAILY shows his gratitude for my hard work when I am at least getting paid for the time I put in. Meanwhile, we are paying for him to put so much extra time at the hospital. I just really, really hate it. I am so very fortunate to have an opportunity and a decent reputation to be able to take a second job when so many people don’t have jobs period. But I am exhausted just about every waking hour and the only thing I can muster to think these days is that I really can’t wait until it’s time for bed. I wake up tired and by the time I get to my “grown-up” job, I have already lost my drive for the day. Particularly on days I have to go to my “after school” job, I spend the entire day trying to figure out where to start, all the while worrying about how badly I just don’t want to go to work after I get off work. Not to mention, the days that I don’t have to work are spent frantically cleaning and picking up things that have just unraveled at home while I was gone working. And there is so much at home that I just don’t even want to go home to anymore. I’d rather close the door to my bedroom and hide away.

Friday I peeled off another month on my countdown. 21 months! We are a great team! We can do it! And in 21 months we will be stronger for it.

Day {Four}

{Day 4 Your favorite photograph of your best friend.}

My very best friend & I have been very best friends since second grade. My family had just moved to Clever and we were in the same class and went to the same church. Years later, our dads are best friends and our moms are shopping buddies so it has helped to maintain our relationships as we are finding our separate ways.

My favorite picture is under my glass desk plate at home. I keep all of my most treasured pictures there so I can see them as I am walking out the door and first thing when I come home. Katie’s parents were letting her get professional senior pictures taken and she invited me along for a picture. I remember the photographer at the time saying it was ok for me to jump into a picture but that he didn’t like to take more than one because in 20 years we may not even be talking to each other. (It’s only been 8 but we’re still doing okay).

Anyway, we wore the shirts we had bought just for that picture, blue jeans, and bare feet. The picture matched our down-to-earth personalities and we both looked like the happiest girls in the world: we were best friends, we were graduating, and we had a big future in front of us.

Much has changed since that picture was taken. Katie graduated and I am a college drop out. We both got married to someone named Sean/Shawn. We have both bought our first houses - I stayed very near my family after vowing to move away and she moved away after vowing to live in Clever. Now she is searching for a new house and we are constantly remodeling ours. She is excited about trying to have a baby and I am anxiously trying to get my husband through school. Eight years ago we were the same people. You couldn’t tell where one of us ended and the other began. Today we are nearly as different as night and day, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still talk on the phone for 2 hours each week. Or that we don’t still pray over our meal no matter how busy the restaurant we meet up at. She’s still my bestie.



She's my right hand lady...



... And I am hers :)

Day {Three}

{Day 3 Your first date}

I have had a few first dates and only one thing resounded through each one of them: awkward conversation. I hate talking to people I don’t know because I never know what to say. The conversation usually goes one of two ways.

1. Jill is too nervous to say anything so Jack dominates the conversation.
2. Jill is too nervous to say anything and Jack finds himself equally nervous so nervous conversation about the direction of windshield wipers ensues. (Note: I have not personally experienced this exact conversation. This scenario is thanks to my dad and his first date at the drive-in.)


I’ve had a first date with the guy’s parents. I’ve had a first date at Build-a-Bear (I was 21+. It wasn’t cute). I’ve had first dates that were so unimpressive I can’t even remember what we did. They were all awkward.

My first “outing” with Sean wasn’t really a date. We weren’t “dating.” I had just broken up with a boyfriend and he had experienced a recent break-up as well. We were just two people from work (although I had a huge crush on him). Sean had invited me to a party at a friend’s house. It was as about unromantic as you can imagine but we were both equally shy when it came to meeting new people so it was nice to have a lot of people to help open a conversation. I think the night ended watching Pulp Fiction which we both agreed was just a sucky movie.

First time doing anything outside of work together. The girl sitting next to me wasn't much of a conversationalist.

Truthfully, I can’t even remember the first time we went out and had a real date. Which is probably why I can’t remember too many awkward moments. :-)


What was your first date???

Day {Two}

{Day 2 Your favorite movie}

Yesterday, I had a great number of songs from which to choose. Today, there is only one answer: When Harry Met Sally.

I can watch it a million times and still laugh. I had seen my parents watching it whenever it popped up on basic cable but had never really seen it because at that age, let's face it, if you're parents are watching a movie, it probably isn't cool. I didn't actually watch it until I was well into college. The thing is, Billy Crystal is not that attractive and Meg Ryan's hair certainly dates the movie, but the story is still current no matter how old the movie is. I love watching two people fall in love and that's all. No deep meaning. No underlying message. Just two people. Friends. Falling in love. It's just a great story.

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.  

Day {One}

A girlfriend at work talked about this 30 day blog challenge she is doing on her blog to help her get into a better habit of writing & chronicling. So she gave me the list she is following and I am one day behind but I'm going to follow along.

Until I quit, of course.

But I started this blog 11 months ago and have a poor showing for it, so what better time to pick it up again than right before it is time to set a new New Year's Resolution!

Anywho, today is {Day 1: Your favorite song}.

To be fair, I have many favorite songs and artists. I love Adele. I love Alison Krauss. I love Michael Buble. So I will just have to focus on one solitary song that evokes such emotion it takes me back to the place where I first heard the song.

I had gotten a second hand copy of Third Day's Time cassette tape from a friend around the time I was 16. I loved it the first time I popped it into the tape player of my Ford Tempo and to this day I love Third Day still. There isn't a better song to start an album than I've Always Loved You.

Don't you know I've always loved you

Even before there was time.

Though you turn away

I tell you still

Don't you know I've always loved you

And I always will.

It wasn't just a religious song at that point. It was the song of my mom, of my dad, my family. I was so lucky to grow up with a family that, though cynical at times, knew what it meant to love. I never knew a time that I wasn't loved and I wanted to believe that very same thing about my future. That there was someone out there who would love all of my flaws the way my family already did. And the way Father certainly did because that was how he made me.

My very good friend had her baby yesterday afternoon. She was the most precious, tiny thing I could ever remember holding. I held her for an hour and it seemed like only minutes. Every facial expression and yawn and squeeze of my finger was just magical. I could have held her forever. In that moment the song flashed through my head again.

Sean & I have been married for a year and a half yesterday. We've been asked multiple times when we'll get to experience the same excitement. We had already decided that it would definitely not be for another 21 months at least, while he is in school. On top of that, I would like to have our house to ourselves for a few months before we start filling it up again! Whenever it does finally happen, though, there will be another baby that doesn't know what it feels like to have never been loved, because we already do. And we will be even more blessed than we already are.

A Tale of Two Families

Aside from the few nights I had obligations at school, I could probably count on one hand the number of times my family didn't eat together at the dining room table growing up. Nope, go ahead and include those nights I had obligations at school; somehow, we always found a way to come together over a hot meal (or cold, depending on how late Dad decided to work in the barn). Furthermore, all of my friends' families ate around a central table and discussed the events of their day. I never even considered that there were other families out there that didn't eat together.

Sean and I have been discussing our next project. He really wants to get new carpet and lay down new linoleum. I am totally on board with this idea because the current flooring is g.r.o.s.s. It's beyond disgusting. With all of the improvements we've made in our home, it's hard to be proud and show off what we've done when I shudder at the thought of people walking in and seeing/smelling our carpet. However, I don't want to make a change if there is a chance that we are going to ruin it with another improvement down the line. To me, that is a total waste of money.

Our home has two sides: the original house and then an add-on which includes the master bedroom and bathroom, utility room, and smaller living room. The original house consists of three bedrooms, a bathroom, a larger living room and the kitchen. The floor plan makes sense until you consider the add-on. The add-on feels like an afterthought with only one little doorway connecting the two sides. And no dining room. I would like to open up the doorway that connects the two sides in order to help the flow of the house and allow for a little more space to put a dining room table.

This is the dilemma: my husband doesn't understand the importance of a place for this piece of furniture. He actually told me he thought I was making too big of a deal about it, that he doesn't know anyone that eats around a table.

!!!!

I responded that I found that ironic because I don't know anyone that doesn't eat around a table! Then it dawned on me: we are so caught up in how our families operated that we never took into consideration how the other family did things. I'm sure I made the situation better when I promptly told him that our family would not be eating on tv trays. Psh.

Fast forward a few days to think about what the other had said. My sister-in-law made a wonderful dinner of steak, fried potatoes, green bean casserole and a salad. Sean was off work for the night and was napping/catching up on TV. The kiddos and I practiced their spelling words while dinner was being put together. As soon as the steaks were brought in off the grill, Lex promptly walked back to her bedroom and grabbed the extra chair while J set the table for 5. It is not unusual for our family to eat around the table, we've just never made a big deal about it. We all sat around the table, discussing how stressful it had been at work lately, tests that were coming up at school, and excitement surrounding upcoming volleyball and basketball games. Our table is very small; it's a round, four person table. You can be certain that elbows were knocking. Should you be invited to dinner at my house, please don't feel offended if your personal space feels a little violated (but also, please, ignore the carpet and linoleum)!

It's cozy, though. And you can be certain that I know what my nephew's favorite (and least favorite) subjects are and that he only puts "Ja" at that top of his papers because people call him "J" and that's how he thinks it should be spelled. I know how excited my niece is to be 3-0 at volleyball but how that also makes her feel a lot of pressure. I know how Sean is doing in school and that the vertebral section is his toughest yet. I know all the reasons that my sister in law doesn't enjoy her job but that she is good at it and that brings her enough satisfaction to stay. I have insight into what my family members are going through and that is important to strengthen our bond.

Apparently my husband realized this as well. I made sure to tell him while we were cleaning up that these moments are usually my favorite part of the day. I haven't convinced him to put a giant hole in our wall, yet, but he finally agreed to go shopping for a nice dining room table once he's out of school.

Sub-Par Quality

Fear not, I have not forgotten about my blog. I just haven't had anything to share. Sure, I could have found PLENTY of juicy info to share, but it probably would have ended up as cryptic as a 15 year old girl's facebook. My excuse is simple: life right now is {so chaotic} that I don't know which way is up.

Really, though, I feel like that is my problem: I have forgotten which way is up, because I have obviously not been taking too many concerns in that direction. I have been in search for a church since October 2009. Like probably 99.9999999% of folks (excluding, of course, my mother and my brother) meeting new people is just not my forte. There is a reason why my very best friend is the same girl who befriended me in Ms. Peebles' 2nd grade class in 1992. I have tried a handful of different local churches and have instantly found reasons not to like them. However, I was not sure if I felt uncomfortable there simply because I do not like to meet new people in an unfamiliar space, or if I was truly being led elsewhere.

I tried a different church on Sunday I {loved} the experience! An older gentleman sat down next to me in church and struck up a conversation; come to find out, he knew my husband as Sean was growing up and thought the world of him. Afterwards, he introduced me to his wife who responded like we were just old friends. They introduced me to the pastor afterwards and I felt encouraged to ask about Sunday School opportunities. He instantly introduced me to another gal my age and she took me to a "young married's" class, where I felt like I had been going forever. It was exactly what I had been waiting for: a place to feel at home, where the congregants treated each other like family. Because that's what we are, right?! I left feeling vibrant and refueled. It honestly wouldn't have taken a whole lot to feel that way, though, because I hadn't been anywhere in probably over a month. My life was feeling murky. Now, I am excited to go back for more and that's a wonderful feeling.

The feeling couldn't have come at a more perfect time, either. Sean's schedule is particularly chaotic at the moment with school and work. The softball season is winding down (can I get a hallelujah?!) and I think he has realized that perhaps the commitment was a little too much on his plate. Additionally, the kids' extracurricular activities are in full swing and, while I am not taking them to practice and may not go to all the games, we are still all under the same roof and we do well to work around each other's schedules and be aware of where everyone is going to be. So, I have been making a calendar to outline Sean's weekly school schedule and ever-variable work schedule and added to it J's football practices & games, Lex's volleyball practices, the family softball games, and other items we have planned on the weekends. I worked out a menu with Ashley for the week and so far these small gestures have helped everyone to stay on track and know what to expect (I think the kiddos like having their names on the master schedule, too - it makes them feel involved). I like order and the lack has made the quality of our days more than sub-par. I won't say this week has been of the highest quality, but I will say that having that sense of order has certainly improved what we have been lacking over the course of the last month.

Now we just have to get our finances figured out. Going from 2 full time paychecks to 1 1/2 checks is just not fun. There isn't another way to put it.